First, I blamed all the usual suspects. I started with Monday because it’s Monday and Mondays usually suck for one reason or another, so why should this one be different? Except the truth is, as Mondays go, this one is okay so far, except for that other perennial mood spoiler, Facebook, which had me totally pissed off by 6:45am. But that’s my fault because I shouldn’t be checking Facebook at 6:45am and inviting in that shit to color my day and my opinions of others. Oops. Too late.

A couple of weeks ago, I tried something new–well not really new, I just went back to what I used to do before I was glued to a device–and spent the first part of the morning either reading a magazine, a few chapters of a book, or some blogs that truly make me laugh out loud. I postponed dealing with the outside world–television, newspapers, email, or social media (well, except for blogs)–for at least an hour. You know what? Those were better days and I’m not even kidding you. And when I finally did turn on the television those particular days, I watched reruns of Match Game ’78 instead of the news because I was going to find out all the bad stuff soon enough–there’s no avoiding it–so I might as well laugh my ass off at Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Riley and text all the funny shit they say to my friend Kellie like I’m live tweeting some event. She doesn’t seem to mind now that she’s upgraded her data plan. Unfortunately, this new routine didn’t last, and much too soon I was back to pouring a cup of coffee, powering up my iPad, and summoning the Dementors before my eyes were fully open. I vow, here and now, to cross back over to the light–although that ship already sailed as far as today goes, so I’ll start tomorrow.

Full disclosure: I just realized goldenrod is blooming and I’ve been out of Zyrtec for two days–mood mystery solved. I owe Monday a sincere apology. Facebook? Go screw yourself…right after you share this post across the known universe. Many thanks, Brent

Categories: Extra Dry Blog